redders: (katamari - laid-back king)
Okay, really, it's just the end of the endless sitting portion of my orientation today, and I am JAZZED. The extended vacation from floor work was nice, don't get me wrong--particularly given the last gig--but still. In any organization of sufficient size, there's bound to be repetition. Loads of it. Mostly in lectures concerning organ donation.

T-day went fine. I'd considered sitting around feeling sorry for myself, but instead I hauled my ass down to a restaurant and sat at the bar reading Murakami. It's less lonely than it sounds, actually--it was the bartender's birthday, and at four there were only a handful of people to distract the employees from sitting around and celebrating. Also, books and beer?

I should get around to doing a two-year update, however! I see that I put it off until the 12th last year, though, so I've got loads of time? I thought I'd get away with posting that and being all "SEE NOTHING CHANGES IT WAS ONLY A YEAR," but upon reading it... haha, suppose it's been a busy year.

I'm still sort of amazed I used to put needles in my leg. Well, okay, that was all of twice. I'm amazed I had my poor friends put needles in my thigh as I commanded them not to hit a vein or a nerve and occasionally chose to spurt blood at them. NOT GOING TO LIE, after around a year on the (less-expensive cream variant) transdermal stuff, I'm pretty thoroughly spoiled.
redders: (trex penetration)
As I'd said previously, I finally got around to scheduling a timeblock with some physician down here in the fine state of Arizona. Now, as I'm more-or-less healthy, I was basically just looking for someone to listen to my lungs with a sense of overwhelming disinterest and write a few prescriptions: testosterone, albuterol, lorazepam. Maybe a little bloodwork just to make sure my cholesterol is still decent, if the doctor was feeling quire energetic. All in all, not very difficult, and I even have the doses written out and brought the old bottles and a giant pile of letters stating Diagnosis: Trans. Should be easy, right?

Probably, the first sign of danger should have been the receptionist saying over the phone, "Most of our providers are very experienced in trans care. But I'm not sure about Dr. G----, he's new to our facility. It should be okay."

Well, first off: everyone else at the clinic was 100% awesome.

The doctor?



Cut for images and oh man this doctor and the cereal box from whence he shooketh his diploma )
redders: (maka maka - bwee!)
So I decided to wisely spend money on fine art, care of [livejournal.com profile] froggie. And... and everything turned out EVEN BETTER THAN EXPECTED.

The following el jay cut contains art that is perhaps ludicrously NSFW. And that is ludicrously hot. And contains FISTING? Hello everyone! :D

Cut for dudes! Hot dudes! Amazing fisting hot and trans dudes! No really this is so NSFW it's silly. )
redders: (PW - hobo tyme)
While I realize I put off this post far too long, I have prepared a chart to explain myself.

In the interim of this week since my one-year-on-T-anniversary, I have been:



But I'm all prepared to type now, and tell you all about my uh... manliness?

Cut for the usual tales of acne, social awkwardness, public restrooms, and other reasons why I loved puberty so much I decided to go through it twice. )
redders: (utahraptor - gender)
Well, I had this great one-year-on-T post all planned out... and instead of typing it I decided to fly to an interview.

And ride a boat to an interview.

Yep.

Still! I may have one, if not both (er... that is to say "may be offered and have my choice") of these jobs. Finally! But that's a post for another time, as well.

Let's just say it's been an AWESOME and ZANY one year, particularly as I decided to do approximately fifty million other things as I transitioned. The post is on the way, no worries--it may just be a week late, which is par for the course for me.

Gonna be at Emerald City Comicon tomorrow, so if you're in the area and attending and you see a short dude with red-and-yellow Tigers (the el jay name has been incorrect for years), feel free to say "hi"!
redders: (vila - space chess)
Well, somehow the earth continued to rotate around the sun at the usual rate this year, and we've somehow wound up hurtling irrevocably through time. I also managed to roll together the funds--thanks to these awesome folks--to buy another six months' worth of T just in time for last week's shot (which... I'd though I had more than 0.1 ml in the last vial, and probably did, but it's a bit hard to shake a small glass vial full of what is essentially thick cottonseed oil like a bottle of stubborn katchup) so I'm happily at six months of uninterrupted hormones.

I just noticed I haven't done one of those how-I've-been-doing-and-what-I've-noticed things for three months. This is half because I was being consumed by my final semester, but it's also because my voice likely won't ever get any lower, and that's the only change I really ever notice. I guess it's hard to tell if some of the other stuff I've been up to--gym, graduating, the two months of sun we get up here causing my body to go into a frenzied state of overambitious seritonin production from which I'll crash when I start basement living in October--is also responsible for any changes I notice. So that's about three half reasons there. But still, six months is probably some sort of super exciting milestone or something, so I might as well try and write about it while I'm on about five hours of sleep because my brain keeps finding extra energy and trying to get me to clean all the things.

So, el jay cut! Six months on T and five hours of sleep! It's a fiesta! )
redders: (vila - sittin' time)
I've not been very good at remembering I have a Life Journal lately, it appears. Rest assured I've done nothing interesting. I got older somehow (being 27 is about as exciting as being 26, and my brother phoned to tell me that I'll enjoy the same level "eh, it's twenty-and-something?" feeling for the next two years), and visited my folks to watch my niece escape high school, and have been studying for finals and freaking out a bit about job applications.

However, I realized I forgot to do my "three month update" entry completely. As I have some weird digestive issue (probably due to the abnormally high fat content of the food in my hometown--my body has decided to stop digesting foods which are over 50% saturated fat, having been off of the deep-fry for so long) that makes concentrating on reading about digestive issues a bit more difficult than usual, I figured, eh. Better late than never?

And nothing too TMI! I promise! So mostly yes, boring navel-gazing ahoy. Three months, one week, and change--or 94 days--on T )

I think that's the most of it, anyway?
redders: (sga - video games)
Kind of slacked on doing this on Friday (which was the day of shot nine), as I was studying. Technically I should be studying now, as well, midterms being tomorrow, but my brain has reached critical mass.

You know the drill. I am on testosterone. It has been two months. I am experiencing some SERIOUS PUBERTY, and have NO INTERNAL FILTER regarding writing about my body. )
redders: (avon - office supplies)
My body is doing weird stuff. Vagina time!!! )

And yeah, still having crazy sex dreams. My favorite one lately was from two nights ago. I'd somehow found this extra episode of B7 that the BBC had taped over (I don't know how I found it?) and I was really very excited to watch it. When I finally did (there was a bunch of "being thwarted from watching the tape" bits to the dream) it was at first kind of normal (as far as B7 goes): seemed to be season 4, and apparently the writers had brought Jarvik back... for another twenty minutes of fighting with Tarrant. It was kind of boring actually, and I totally understood why TPTB had tried to delete the whole thing. I had the impression they were fighting over Avon though, who was sitting on a lawn chair wearing that one outfit from Gold and Assassin, looking sort of concerned but mainly very bored and put-out. After a while, he snuck off (Jarvik and Tarrant kept at it) and climbed into a pit. The episode then was 10-15 minutes of Avon crawling through conduits and stuff, so yes, about 35 minutes of Normal B7, but then at the end of the tunnel there was a lot of pulsating wires covered with gobs of what looked suspiciously like petroleum jelly, and for the rest of the dream, Avon was basically weaving lubed wires together and rubbing pulsating lights and occasionally pulling more vaseline out of the walls, and sometimes kind of rubbing himself against it all. I was watching it for a while and though they didn't explain it, I realized a) he was fixing Zen (who was somehow... in a subterranean base?) and b) apparently no one on internet liked this episode, so I wasn't going to get any Zen/Avon/pulsing wires! It kept going on, and I kept feeling uncomfortably aroused by it all. :( I... kind of wish Matthew Barney really had done an episode?
redders: (avon - office supplies)
So I've really not noticed too much else lately other than JESUS CHRIST THE NEEDLES THE PHARMACY GIVES YOU ARE HUGE. I know 22 gauge is pretty standard (though a PITA to draw what is essentially cottonseed oil up through) for IM injections, but I had been using 1" needles at the lab. Not 1 1/2. This half-inch makes a lot of difference when you're not quite comfortable with poking yourself, thanks, but considering I have enough of them for the year I will just have to deal. Sigh.

Otherwise! Royal rainbow roundup of changes. Also deals with my sex life, or whatever I have that resembles one. )

Yep, that's pretty much it. Continuing to leave these public, I suppose--as embarrassing as they sometimes are.
redders: (vila - space chess)
I picked up my magic vial, and it was cheaper than anticipated! But I think they're making all the money on the alcohol swabs... I should have declined those and stole 'em from school, but I guess I should look medium classy and shell out the two bucks. Highway robbery, I tell ya!

Also, I have spent all day listening to Lady Gaga. Apparently testosterone makes you very, very gay.

Discuss.

Progress!

Mar. 17th, 2010 11:27 pm
redders: (holmes - bath)
Today I finally was able to get cleared to jab needles in my legs without adult supervision. Only took three injections to get there, not too long, right? But yeah, it feels amazing to be free of lab fees. Save for that every-fifth-injection blood draw.

I'd been considering whether or not to make the sort of "guys look at my transition diary" entries flocked or not. I consider my experience with this to be a bit like my experience with school or doing taxes: so boring one should only inflict posts on the subject upon those who were unwise enough to hit "friend." After thinking about it, though, it's really best to keep them open. I do hope no one ever takes yours truly as any sort of case example, but I know I was always happy to find folks talking about their experiences on The Intertubes. So if it helps, folks can read a bunch of TMI? Yes? Anyway.

No really, I sometimes just start talking about my junk. And how much I jerk off. And my period. Basically okay it is a big story about my whole general pelvic region. 13 whole days on T, and not a lot has changed but some stuff has I promise. )

Also today: haircut! It is shorter than I've ever had it, accidentally so. I don't like it much, I think my face is a little fat for it. :( EMO EMO EMO.
redders: (utahraptor - gender)
TESTOSTERONE, CHECK YES.

Dude, okay, Internet and society! Thank you for amping me up to think I would have more hoops to jump through and more gatekeeping to deal with, because I went to that appointment--complete with hacking cough--thinking "oh it'll be fine, I don't need to schedule the mandatory t-day party anytime soon. I will surely need two office visits for the doctor to even think of giving me anything."

And then he basically said "so... what's your story? Oh, therapy for two years? Okay, go take this paper to the lab, they'll do a blood draw and help you self-inject."

WHAT. It was kind of confusing. I felt like writing a strongly-worded letter: "Dear physician: things are not supposed to go that well in my life! I demand for more thwarting of my hopes and dreams. Thank you."

I still almost can't believe it. Maybe it was all a Theraflu-induced dream. I'm vaguely bummed I got my first jab when so under-the-weather--I'd always thought it'd be fun to make a huge party-that-day deal out of it--but really, it's just like the rest of this process for me. Even though I get plagues and all, things have been rolling along fairly organically: it just felt like the right time to start testosterone, so it happened. Hardly fair to put on hard breaks just for insufficient lung function. And besides, I didn't want to pay for an extra office visit. When faced with the possibility this all might wind up out-of-pocket, you just gotta roll with it!

At any rate, despite hacking it up, I still got a bit of celebration in--aced a test (okay I suppose that is not actually celebrating, but I thought it was fun), went out for vegetarian barbecue with a few pals, and bought a houseplant I've been ensured is "nearly immortal" in some sort of "I suppose I should have something commemorative... like a houseplant???" moment. The rubber tree has survived thus far, I have high hopes for this... whatever the shopkeeper said this was. It's green, if that helps.

My pals have already been asking if I feel any differently, and it's true that a lot of guys do feel something right off. For me, it's hard to say. I'm ill, so I just feel wonky in general, but after the first shot I did feel better. I'm a bit of a skeptic and think it's just psychosomatic, though. I also felt VERY VERY HUNGRY about an hour after the shot. And then I remembered... oh yeah, my stomach only contains two shots of espresso and some hot water. My friends also gave me shit for saying "wait... is this about the final? Can you start again, I wasn't listening to you at all," because I was sort of hyper-focused on vegetarian barbecue at the bar. I, however, felt it was a natural reaction for any gender. Come now, we are talking about barbecue here!

Apologies for the wonky entries lately, I'm not brain work so good currently. But dude, life is good. March is starting with lung-rot, but at least it's still promising to be a great month. Testosterone! Nimoy! Arizona!

...Actually, it looks a bit crazy when I type it all together like that, but still.

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